The grass is always greener on the other side

Which side?

I would like to be there,

Its days like these where I think nothing could go wrong

and I am most vulnerable,

when the whole world decides to crash down on my shoulders..

AGH,

I am just so mentally fucked right now

for lack of better words

I have watched tangled 3 times,

Worked out for 2 hours,

I feel

so

alone

&

scared

I went for a drive

bad idea

I hate the radio

aha

:)

but sometimes you just have to keep pushing

no matter

how much I just want to quit

and just let this all be over

im so done

really I am

But

Im fine

todays 3rd blurb,,

I am listening

even if you dont think I am

I promise

I am

Application for a new Family.

Hello my Name is Maxie,
I am 17 years old,
Brownish red hair, green/blue/brown eyes.
I would like to be adopted,
I am nice and love other children
Easily excepted
helpful around the house
and I have a huge heart.
Adopt me,

My family flat out sucks
ok
I take that back, Other people have worse.
But lets say those people didnt exist right now,
My mom screams all the time, and likes to use profanity towards me.
My dad is never home
Bond has her own friends, and only likes me sometimes, And wont let me hang out with her :( Boo bond
Cameron is annoying, and mean, and a brat...
Joe, is joe
Stanley, is the meanest little boy on this earth, He is so bad...

I wish I had a puppy to keep me company.

The tension in my house is just so much,
You can taste it when you walk in.
I would trade anyone places,
I take that back, I dont think a lot of people could handle my house.
Im so ready to leave.

I want to listen to Fireflight, and The Soloist,
TOO BAD SOMEONE HID THEM
:(

I very much miss Leif.
16 days till he comes down.
Cant wait.

Let me, help you, help me

I love helping people,
love it.
Just the way people look after you help them,
It's amazing.
I get dreams ever so often,
Of my grandpa, and Grandpa Carl,
<3
I love those dreams.
None recently..:(

It was brought to my attention today
that while I make sure everyone else is taken care of
I am not taking care of myself,
I should probably find time to do that..

So Im going to tell you a secret
I cry
A lot
Im gonna have to say
every night haha...
yeah,
I am a baby..
A big one..
Why?
If I knew I would tell you, haha
It sucks,
it really really does.
I dont know why, its like I lay in bed and BAM.
I cry
booooooooo. boo. crying.

So today was a very blah day..
I finally dont feel sick anymore,
no school tomorrow,
for me anyways.
:)

So you know that feeling,
the gut feeling
you know something is wrong you just dont know what?
Oh hello constant feeling,
ha, I wish I knew why,
I feel anxious all the time,
Which is BAD,
very bad, because when I get anxious
I do stupid things.
..
At least I think about them anyways..

I wish I didnt feel so paranoid,
I hate being alone..
its the scariest feeling in the world.

just let me know when you are ready, I am here.

Its only 8:45am and I've already done some stupid things, and some pretty awesome things:)

Bad

• did insanity, still sick
• running off of two hours of sleep
• spilled water on Nicole, oh, my bad.
• been procrastinating online work ALL morning...

Good

•  Completed Insanity
• Made healthy cookie dough, Yes HEALTHY.
• I took vitamins, and am drinking lots of orange juice, Which I hate.
• Convinced dad to talk to mom, (no results yet... D: )

As of this moment, I am in a very, very good mood:)

I feel happy, maybe thats just the lack of sleep

and energy, but it works :)

emptied out my trash this morning, WAS NOT EASY.

but I did, I feel better , for now anyways

:)

<3 <3 <3

I miss Leif very much,

He is coming out the weekend of oct 15th!!

So excited, I cant wait to see him,

I feel like its been FOREVER.!!

<3

<3

<3

I feel content right now

and that

makes me very

Happy

:)

Stop the yelling already!

ugh,

So all my mom knows how to do is yell.

its like, uh hello could you please talk like a civil human being?

no, oh, ok. im just going to go upstairs then,

If you have ever been in my room you know its not that big,

and when its a mess like how it is currentlly,

its very

very

small.

I hate small places, Just like the court room,

A tiny little cube.

djksjfsdhfsd booooo.

I dont like writing these recently,

they are getting so..

personal..and detailed.

its like,

oh hey, want to know me?

read my blog it has almost everything you need to know!
haha,

but at the same time its so impersonal..

people always ask me the same few questions,

Why i look so happy,

Why I dont get bothered easily,

How come I dont get angry,

and the biggest one,

Doesnt it bother you he wasnt found not guilty?

Most of the time I lie

I am happy,

people dont bother me,

Im not an angry person,

and

No, Why should it?

Im such a good liar to people I dont like <3

honestly,

I am not happy most of the time I dont even know what I feel,

People piss me off so, so much.

I get angry so easy, at least recently, that I dont think, and it scares me..

And,

uh, no, you know what i'm completly fine with it, it meant nothing to me,

ARE YOU DUMB?

of course it does you ass-wipe,

Leave me alone.

College is seriously stressing me out,

No, not college, The money.

My dad wont stop, my mom is mental,

and I am going crazy..

I am going to get no help with paying for it unless a surpise letter comes in the mail full of money,

I am so far going to a junior college,

Kill me?

thanks.

So I, just like bond have been sick the past 3 days with a temp of 101 or higher,

Yet,

Im still working out,

and I can Barely sleep.

My wrist, and leg hurt like a mother,

and I just want to lay in bed and cry ALL day.

school is slipping through my fingers,

and im starting to give up.

its like, what is there left?

Its so hard to think about college,

when I have pay for everything myself,

haha

I cant even afford to put down the housing application fee right now,

ha..

but who am i to complain, some people have it so much worse...

my nightmares recently are horrible...

I cant sleep at all...

they keep me up

I sleep for a hour,

I wake up for 5...

it sucks..

they are horrible...

Recently,

I just feel dead,

what does that mean you ask?

Im empty walking,

soulless,

emotionless,

I could care less what happens to me

thats what dead means,

its means im not living.

I miss Leif,

and

I miss Shayne

right now they are my reason for living haha.

Hard to explain..

I dont think they will every fully know,

how much they really do for me...

I mean sometimes, well most of the time my brain is like

"ah WOMAN, leave Shayne and Leif Aloneeeee, you are annoying the crap out of them, You know what everyone says, if you get to close you'll just push them away,

dont push them away, but just remember, you cant rely on them,

because they are just going to leave,

you cant put all the pressure on them"

Oh, I love my brain.

it makes me so happy,

aha

Right now,

I just want to be

Happy

Razor Blade

your words, they sting
just like a razor blade upon my skin
sinking deeper with each cut you slit

they hurt more then you think
and you just wallow in self pity
making me seem like the bad guy
you just carry on like a goddess

the more words you throw
the deeper the wounds seem to be
the more pain you cause,
makes my blood dripping feel more like relief.

you whine like a baby
and you refuse to grow up
but what happens when your baby girl
gets so upset and slips up

the words you say
bruise her self esteem
she locks herself in her room
and the tears fall like a constant stream

you wish her to leave
you scream for your sanity
she cant take much longer
she keeps screaming her profanities.

your words they sear
like a hot wire across her skin
she reverts back to her room
and rips herself apart from within

they fear for her safety
her well being, and her life
well she does too,
because she doesn't know how much longer she can take.

the worse it gets here,
the better it feels
the more she gets yelled at
the more relief it brings

your words, they sting
just like a razor blade upon my skin
sinking deeper with each cut you slit

This was the hardest thing to write ever, ever, ever, ever.

not being able to talk to you is hard, not knowing what you are thinking or feeling is even harder.
  We arent the same two people we used to be,
7 years of friendship,
3 years of that, on and off puppy love,
 2.5 years of that, anger.
 I dont know how you feel towards me,
I dont know what made you change,
And I have no idea why you did what you did.

 I've waited for you to change for 2.5 years now,
 I've waited and waited for nothing but hurt and remorse.
 I've wished I could go back and fix what I did,
I've wished I could make it better.
I've wished that I could 'fix' you.
But nothing has changed, and nothing is going to change..
because now its your turn,
its your game.

I have to realize I did nothing wrong,
I can't fix what I did because It was what you wanted
I cant be the person you want me to be,
because, well, I dont know who you are anymore,
You wanted me one second and the next you wanted me out of your life
and when you were with 'her' you were a stranger to me.

I always wonder if i could have done something different
if there was a magic word or phrase to help you understand
Its hard to think about the times when they were good, and realize they dont exist anymore
Its harder to see people go through this same thing and not be able to help them,
because I havent been able to even help myself.
The only memories I like to keep in my head are the good ones, but the bad ones exist. th
I just wish it was easier to forget you.



... why is writing this so hard....





I know I dont have to forget you,
And to be honest I know I never will
its just that right now its too much piled on top of everything else
To deal with the hurt of losing you.
You were my best friend,
and now you are my worst nightmare
you were my rock, and now you are my fear
you have made it so hard for me now, when I cant help people I feel dead. Useless, unworthy. I have to help people, because i couldnt help myself..
I put up a strong front, in reality I am so weak, so weak, you couldnt tell looking at me, but I am, I am so weak, and scared.

I wish I knew of something, or someway to make it into your mind,
to make you understand how I feel, to understand what you did to me.
It hurts so bad, not being able to talk to you.
no ones knows, until now at least,
you were the only one I could fully express my feelings to, you were my whole life, we had everything planned out together, college, military, home, family...
 you knew everything, and I felt safe around you..
Now I can't even fully express myself to the people who love me, and are there for me,  Like Leif or Shayne, It kills me everytime I hold back from them because im scared of being hurt, and left alone, or having people think I am just a mental case.. there is so much that neither of them know that i cant find the strength to tell them, or anyone,....You were so easy to talk to.. why, did you change. Why, why, why..
but in reality, this isnt who I am... I know its not, Im trapped, and i cant find my way out..
Its hard for me to feel safe, because you were my safety, You were my 'wishing star'

You were my bestfriend, you were my first love,
you were my protector, now you are behind my anger,
my saddness, my tears. You were the reason I started to hurt myself, its the only way I can find that fixes everything for a short time.
Have you ever heard anyone say "it hurts so good.." mylife.
I wish you were as sorry as I was..I wish I could tell you about how much it hurts,how much I am scared to be alone with myself, how much I envy the people who are so much stronger then me.  How weak I feel all the time. how many nights i cry myself to sleep, how hard it is to smile all the time, how much i love leif, I wish you knew how happy i am with him, I wish I could talk to you so bad. I wish people understood that I am not crazy.. Im just not mean... I am torn into pieces, I remember when we made that promise. "no matter what happens no matter how bad, we will stay best friends through everything", I hope you know how much that eats at me every day, how much i hate, that I am forced to break a promise, I never break my promises...ever...I wish you knew that I would never just leave you, i wouldnt let you die if i had a choice, i wouldnt let you be in pain, because of the hope that you are still there under this monster..
 I wish I could tell you how much the thought of hurting myself crosses my mind, and how much it hurts when people call me stupid, im bruised ,broken and scarred. I miss who you were.
I wish i could talk to you like i used to..
you are the reason for, My loss of feeling of life, You were my EVERYTHING.
and you just turned around and stabbed me in the back and ripped my heart open...
I feel life I dont know what Im supposed to do without you around..
its so hard to feel like moving on,
to leave such a big part of me behind with you..
its like my chest is closing in and im suffocating,
 its not as easy as people think to move on,

All because of the one thing I said...
Where would we be now?
...
what would we be doing?
was this inevitable..
constant feelings,
Strongest mixed feelings
I could never hate you,
I could never hate you,
I could never hate you...


...there is still so much and i could write on and on and on for hours, I just cant right now...

true.

june 9 2009

Leifwrote this for me, and it's still my favorite <3

A little seed...

not much...

not big...

not strong...

not weak...

just a seed

However in that seed

in the womb of life to be

lies something bigger then can be expected

life

in all forms

in all ways

in all aspects

All that seed needs is

water

soil

and love

to help it grow

to help it live

to help it become what it should

Once that seed takes root

once it grows out

it doesn't want to stop

it cant stop

the roots go out

further and further

over time

the seed grows up and out

and turns into something

many seeds grow together

and sprout the same time

especially blooming Flowers

however

there is one that is over looked

one seed

one root

one flower

that no one notices at first

or cares for

however

when that seed grows

and that seed blooms

even when its the last one

nothing can compare

to the beauty that it lets off

everyone all around

sees it

and wants it

and those that over looked it

don't realize what it was that they lost

so much comes out of that little seed

so little was expected at first

so little was given at first

but when the flower bloomed

so much did it give off

so much had it changed

so beautiful

all from one little seed...

don't give up

never give up

i will be by you're side

be your water

your sun light

you just have to make it through the hard soil

that you were planted in

What do you do then?

"Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you"

 I <3 Leif & Shayne

And I miss them so very much..

 The way you love me

Is it your smile

Is it the way you laugh

Did you know I would walk that extra mile

Just for you.

Its been so long

I cant remember why

My heart falls for you everyday

Even though I know everything you say is a lie

I love you

More than you will ever know

I promised I would always stay true

But I am getting tired of waiting for you

I feel like I need you

My heart pulls me towards you

I wish I knew why

you do what you do

I miss you all the time

But I know you don’t feel the same

My heart stretches every single day we play this game

I cant let you go

I cant get you out of my mind

You say you don’t want me

And then you say never mind

you talk to him

and you let me go

is he worth it

is he worth you stooping this low

you've blocked me out

you've shut me down

I sit in my room

just laying there,

not making any sounds

you've hurt me once,

you've hurt me twice

you've hurt me so many times

I don't understand why you are still my only vice

you were my future

you were my plans

you were my schedule

You were the voice in my head that said "you can"

people say there are plenty fish in the sea

but babe, you are the only one for me

 

The constant way we are on and off

The way you keep me just close enough

You have me in your control

I’m just waiting till I’m strong enough to let go.

 

You have me in your trap

And I don’t know how to feel

I can’t seem to find anyone like you

To make me feel like the way you make me feel

I say good morning

And I say goodnight

Your on my mind

From the first sight of dawn light

I feel lost when I know I don’t have you

I feel like you hold me together

I feel like you are my glue

I will love you forever

And I know that its true

Because you were my first love

And I can’t stop thinking about you

 

Maybe its our time

maybe we are done

I'm always here for you

I just wish I know what I did wrong

 

(Honeybee, This is a longer version of the one i sent you before, I hope it helps.

 <3)

couldnt even imagine

Aye,
I want to be able to help you.
I feel so helpless right now not being able too..
I wonder if this is how Leif feels towards me,
Its horrible..
Im going crazy not knowing if you are ok...
I hope you are..
I feel so bad right now,
I can't imagine Leif doing this all the time..
I almost feel sick to my stomach because I cant do anything....
I wish I could help.

Im scared and nervous for homecoming tonight.
aye,
so nervous....

Acceptance.

I have been accepted into NMSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<3

Im very happy.
So, happy.

Im going to make it,

I'm going to make it
I'm going to make it
I'm going to make it

AYE!,
this waiting game sucks,
I want to know if I made it into NMSU already!!!
ughhhh
So impatient,
I mean don't get me wrong,
I am patient with people.
NOT THIS.
 >:0
NMSU BE FASTER!
HFJSDHFK
SDHF

My mom has me freaking out
" what are you going to do if you don't make it?"
" how are you and Leif going to stay together if you don't make it "
" yeah, just go to ASU"
NEVERRRRR!

&lt;3 I want to marry Leif, like....Now?
I love Leif,
 Leif is my best friend,
 my light when it's dark.
 He is my one and only
He is my true love
He has my heart,
. &lt;3

Shayne, I love Shayne, Oh so much
Shayne is what I like to call An older brother,
Or at least what I think one might be,
I haven't known Shayne for that long,
But I love him :) aha,
He is the reason for parts of my smile,
The reason I can make it through everything.
I like having the feeling of a friend,
Even more so a friend who deals with my
"correcty" problem :)

I'm so nervous.
What if I'm not accepted?

Today was very good.
I still feel lost,
And I am crying ALL THE TIME.
It's so annoying,
Seriously, If you are texting me, typing to me, or on the phone with me chances are I'm crying,
I just feel overwhelmed

But that is OK,
:)
right?

october october...

October no longer exsists..
woooo....
happiest person alive.

Today was good.
Just tired.
Last night was horrible.
But today made up for it.

Thursday I have therapy...
cant wait..

why cant you.

Saving Grace

you were my sanity

my saving grace

you were my only hope

you gave me my space

its not just me

i know it hurts you too

I'm trying to grow up now,

I'm trying to start over new

you are driving me crazy

and a little insane

you are hurting me a lot

but i know you are not the only one to blame

I sit in my room

alone and scared

pondering the thoughts that shouldn't be there

I cant take much longer

until it happens again

I can feel it building,

and I'm scared this time

that it will be the end.

I feel like i have no control

I feel like I'm so alone

Its so hard to focus on the good things

I just need someone to throw me a bone

this house it built with hate

with coldness and tears

the screaming and yelling

could pierce any ones ears

the music I've received

has helped me escape

its just a matter of time

 before you cover my mouth with tape

I speak my mind

I fight for my life

I try so hard to make you want me

and that always ends up with me holding a knife..

You re supposed to love me

you re supposed to care

I'm your fucking daughter

my emotions, why cant you spare

I want this to be over

I want this to be gone

I want to be able to smile

and know its not because i did something wrong.

you were my sanity

my saving grace

you were my only hope

you gave me my space

enter.

Found a dress today,

Fixed my aweful hair,

no longer black,

I fixed it with something called 'color oops'

It washed out all of the dye,

so now I have my natural, redish, orange, blonde, brownish hair. Woo

vvv Hair vvv

See leif, I do wear your huge ass ring <3

 

Today has been very calm so for except shopping with mom,

I could have killed myself and it would have been easier.

I <3 Fireflight..

&

The Soloist.

Calms me.

<3

Shopping is for losers.

I hate shopping,

Seriously, its like tourture.

I hate it,

hate it

hate it.

Who invented shopping?! they should be shot.

haa, Its such a girl thing.

what is so great about spending money on things you will only wear or use twice?!

:P

Today I went shopping for homecoming dresses.

Worst Idea EVER;.

why did I agree to go to homecoming?!

-who knows.

four and a half hours later.

no dress.

no shoes

Lowest self-esteem ever,

loss of any feeling of being 'pretty'

!!NO HELP TO MY BLACK HAIR!!

on the plus side I didnt have a break down

haha

:)

.

ugh,

I seriously hate shopping,

I dont like it

I am not comfortable with myself

I do not like to look at myself

therefore I am not comfortable in anything.

haha,

I dont think of myself as pretty,or anything like that,

nor do I think that it is achievable

Problem? probably.

Seriously, haha,
Freshman year, actuality: size 3/5, mindset: size 849328493284.
-thank you mother for my mindset-

Today was a so-so day,

I mean nothing bad happened really,

nothing extrodinary happened,

:)

Required:

My emotions today,

Numb

low,

helpless,

alone

scared

melancholy,

& fine,

All wrapped up under a smile.



constant things stirring through my mind,

-october

-my thigh Ha.

- The morkie at the mall <3

-Mandy

-Leif & Shayne

-homecoming

-Stupid Shawn, I was mean..

-october

-october

-graduating in December..

-fall of 2012

I love my boys ;)

I have Leif and Shayne on my Brain.

Haaa.

That Rhymed!

I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!

haha

Leif is on my brain because I love him because he is always there for me. <3 so that's a given.

and Shayne Because he is stressing :( and I want to help him, and I love him also <3 

I Love Leif <3This Made me think of him <3
I love you darling
:)

This made me think of Shayne
<3
Feel better soon Honeybee.

I hope to spend the rest of my life with Leif,

and I hope Shayne will stay in my life as long as he likes :)

They are both my rock.

They are my support.

They are my friends.

They deal with my craziness,

and they haven't left me,

They are there when I am in my darkest moments

and they are there in my brightest.

Leif is my true love,

and Shayne is my brother.

and without them,

I don't even know what I would do.

I would render my existence worthless

They make my life easy

and they make my life worth it

They both make me smile

and always know exactly what to say,

I love them both

until the end of the universe and back

times infinity

 <3

baha,
<3 Me, Leif and Shayne <3

underneath her smile

I'm pretty sure at one point we all wanted a new start,
I wish almost every second, of everyday that I could start over.
I know exactly what I would do differently,
But you know what,
you don't get do overs,
And you very rarely get second chances.

"My name is life,
I am easy,
hard
frustrating
and kind,
I am what you get to live with."

Oh hey there life,
Please change.
thanks.

What I am feeling right now,
Is frustrated,
ignored
Abandoned,
all covered up in a layer of happiness.

I just give up.
I cant be nice all the time anymore
Its draining.
Really it is.
I cant take it.
I cant take people walking all over me.

I want to lay in bed all day,
I don't want to eat
or drink any thing
I don't want to see anyone
or do anything
I don't really know how to explain all of this...
I just want to lay in bed, and get all pale.


My changing of clothes is 20x worse.
I don't know what it is about light switches but I've started up with those.
I've been so mood swingy, and its pissing me off.
I don't want to talk to anyone,
I make myself, So I don't isolate myself..
I don't want to disappoint anyone,
yet I feel like I already have.

Do you ever feel like you annoy everyone you talk to?
Current state of mind..
I feel like I need to cry for weeks on end, but nothing happens.

I've been told I don't deserve friends?
Maybe true, Maybe false.
I don't think anyone deserves to go through what I put people though..
Maybe she was right?
Worthless.

I just want to be that person that people look up to,
what a joke.
I don't know anymore..
...

Changing.

aye,

My hair is black,

 Long story short,

Not my fault.

and no,

I do not like it.

I have been in a good mood the past two days,

after I did what I shouldnt have,

I felt better,

Which is bad,

but I have appointments, blah blah.

Anyways,

I am happy<3

Happy is good.

Happy is October, and Friends and college.

I am Happy.

:)

Reaction time

I reacted before I thought and now i feel stupid.
Better.
but stupid
very
very
stupid.

I dont want to live here.
I need to get out of here.
I cant stay here.

I am so stupid..
It would kill my dad.
I feel so stupid.

I let people down.
I hurt people.
Why, did i react like that.
so long, SO LONG, has passed and i have been able to keep myself.
And,
I lost it.

I got so mad
so overwhelmed.
So.
angry.
and frustrated.
it seemed like the only way.
I imploded.
and then exploded.

I cant take my mom yelling at me anymore
If she wasnt going to set any rules,
i was,
she didnt like them, I DONT CARE.
Stanley is a little shit.
"hes 4 he doesnt know any better"
Fuck that, yeah he does,

Im so mad,

"you're not the parent, you not listening to me means i'm not doing good enough"

If i'm not the parent someone has to be, because quite frankly, you are biased.
and you make me angry,
very
angry.

Ugh,
I am so pissed right now,
I mean i feel better.
I called one of those numbers,
and talked to them, I texted Ariel,
I feel better,

I am just
so
fucking
mad.

http://youtu.be/hU5ZEOjZ-w8

Paranoid.

I feel like i'm being watched.
Everything I say, type, watch,
Is being recorded.
I hate feeling like this.
I cant do anything without the constant feeling of
"should I be typing this, or saying this? could this help their case?"
Hate it.

I feel like everyone that talks to me is just trying to get information out of me..
Including Shayne, and sometimes Leif.
I hate it..
so
so
much....
I mean why else would someone have a reason to be nice.
I feel like in court they knew everything at every moment I was doing,
what i told people
what i didnt tell people
it still feels like that


Its the worst feeling in the world.

today

I will do one of these walks before I die.

ha

May I take your order?

Oh, yes please.

I would like A side of ignorance,

with the entree of abandonment,

and a tall drink of assholes.

And for dessert I would like a slice of depression.

That will be all thanks.

Bah,

no I did not ask for that,

yet it was still served to me.

You can only be so ignorant to think that you are in any way cool, or great

"sweet freedom, Jv******, Not guilty, Me-1, You-0"

First off, it should be "me-9, you-0"

dont try to make it look like it only happened once,

we all know it was 9, 

 even the people that look up the case will know you retard.

Second, You are not free.

Think what you want.

"Casey Anthony was found not guilty too"

^^^^

I would if I could.

But im not a bitch like you.

Today,

I lost the last friend I though I had.

I dont want drama

I dont need drama

therefore I dont need you.

I dont need a bitch in my life that just causes problems

I dont need to be nice to you if you arent to me

I dont need to smile at you if you glare at me

I dont need to help you if you just crush me

I dont want to need you if you dont need me

I feel as though I pushed that friend away

Maybe I did

Maybe I didnt Im not sure

I do know that right now

I am mad,

sad

angry

upset

alone

 scared

and tired.

I just want to find a way out.

Dear Life,

Stop sucking, I want to feel normal.

thanks,

Maxie.

my life.

I tried to make myself feel better, it didnt really work but these are cute.

I love this one.

this made me think of shayne

true story bro.

yes, i can.

life.

my motto.

I love this one too,<3

its cute<3

HA!, I WISH!. i will do as told.

future?

amen,

something i would do.

bahaha

I love leif<3

Layne

conceited? yes.

how cutee

Hello life statement.

addiction.

bitches.

<3

love.

hello current life.

uh, no, my kids are going to be cleaning machines.

This is something I could see Shayne doing upon watching my children, :D



babies...



new favorite.

<3<3

AHHHH, its like me. In words.