Let me, help you, help me

I love helping people,
love it.
Just the way people look after you help them,
It's amazing.
I get dreams ever so often,
Of my grandpa, and Grandpa Carl,
<3
I love those dreams.
None recently..:(

It was brought to my attention today
that while I make sure everyone else is taken care of
I am not taking care of myself,
I should probably find time to do that..

So Im going to tell you a secret
I cry
A lot
Im gonna have to say
every night haha...
yeah,
I am a baby..
A big one..
Why?
If I knew I would tell you, haha
It sucks,
it really really does.
I dont know why, its like I lay in bed and BAM.
I cry
booooooooo. boo. crying.

So today was a very blah day..
I finally dont feel sick anymore,
no school tomorrow,
for me anyways.
:)

So you know that feeling,
the gut feeling
you know something is wrong you just dont know what?
Oh hello constant feeling,
ha, I wish I knew why,
I feel anxious all the time,
Which is BAD,
very bad, because when I get anxious
I do stupid things.
..
At least I think about them anyways..

I wish I didnt feel so paranoid,
I hate being alone..
its the scariest feeling in the world.