sick day

Today I had a sick day.

I do believe I made myself sick stressing over everything. I hate throwing up and I definantly hate headaches.

But besides being sick, I like sick days. It gives you time to rest and think.

I slept some today, yet i'm still tired.

 BOO..for no sleep tonight cause i slept all day.

Today I watched Radio Flyer with Tom Hanks.

new.favorite.movie.

It made me think of promises.

and how they should always be kept, they are a commitment.

I firmly believe that.

other people I know don't.

Shame on them.

Today :

• I though about how I look forward to starting my major in social work, and that I know it will be very rewarding.
• I realized that my new friend Shayne makes me feel normal. I just wish i had 'in state' friends.
• I filled out scholarships when i should have been sleeping
• I read and finished my book
• I wrote some poems
• I contemplated how much of childhood was taken from me
• I drew some pictures
• I slept
• Realized I would need a new laptop for college. yay for more expensive things I cannot afford.
• I kinda sort cleaned my room
• And I finally cut up the rest of the court papers I gathered for my use.

It didn't really make me feel any better I just like not having to look at them anymore....

I feel like not going to school, takes a lot of stress off of me. I mean, I only go for two hours, But i feel the two hours I am there I am being watched the whole time. Its not where I want to be the immaturity level is insane. Your almost 18 GROW UP! aye, people make me angry.

So i realized that I don't even remember what its like to have friends, at least 'real' friends. When I do try to make them I feel like I am smothering them, so then I push myself away from them, therefor I am once again friendless. I honestly wish I could remember the feeling of friends so i wouldnt feel like a shadow just moving between everyone.

Leif is going to talk to Shayne tonight

.terrified.

I mean if everyone else had no problem leaving, who's to say he won't?

until next time

<3