the inside view

Something I have to work on is moving on. It's not easy.

Actually..

Its super duper really hard.

And no one is seeming to make it easy.

"ahh just forget about it"

"just pretend like it didn't happen, just dont think about it"

"only remember the good stuff" blah blah

It doesn't work that way guys, sorry to burst your bubble, but it's not something that goes away over night.

I mean I have the best boyfriend ever<3,

and a new friend Shayne ( I <3 him) , and some of my ''old friends'' are back,

but i feel like the 'old friends' i had aren't really there, I mean they left me.

A true friend would have stayed.

right now I feel like i've come kinda far but I feel stuck.

For some reason when I saw that picture at first I got angry.

And then sad

and then I realized, that I can't do that.

I can't give in to the fact that it would just equal satisfaction for him.

I never really understood why it happened to me.

I don't think I ever will.

and i know there will always be that constant feeling that i want to know why,

why me.

I would NEVER wish this on anyone. I just wish someone knew how I was feeling.

I mean i explain it to everyone all the time. But i don't feel like anyone really knows what i'm saying...

A stream

They are like a constant stream

they come fast and they come slow

they slide down

when i'm feeling extra low

my confidence sinks

and my will power fades

it made me feel like i had to take my frustration out with rust covered blades

I lost my friends

my hope and my sanity

I remember thinking what has happened to all humanity

Your words hurt me

they killed me

they stole my smile

I put up my front

I stayed in denial

The drops that fall

they are not for you

but for me

they are my hope

they are my dreams

they are my tears that fall as steady as a stream

Until next time

<3