Words

Words mean more then people think they do,
whether you mean them, whether you dont
words hurt.
I have been a bitch lately, and I do not care.
Im tired of people walking all over me,
Im tired of people who dont know when to stop,
Im tired of people who ask for advice and then throw it away.

last night just plain sucked.
I cried alot
I threw up alot
I had a raging migrane
I didnt sleep
I kept playing words over and OVER in my head
that I didnt even say
words that I have never thought
words I have never said
yet somehow, you say I did,
its hard to breath
its hard to think
I dont want to lose you
but right now
I just need time to be with me..

17 years old up on the stand

raising her right hand

promising the truth and nothing but

while they go on and tell her she was a slut

Last night was a repeat

of something she feared

it was something she hated

just when she thought her mind was cleared

putting words in her mouth

they win the case

if everyone only knew

what really took place

she never said those things

yet it ran over the truth

she did not say those things

yet he continued to sleuth

She will not talk

She will not comply

Because she is so upset

you filled her mouth up with lies

Last night I forgot what it was like to have a dispute with someone for so long, because I have had no one to fight with. I dont want to be caught in another circle, fight-imsorry-friends-fight-imsorry-friends-fight-imsorry-friends... I dont need that circle, You asked for my advice and then said I picked sides.. was it not what you wanted to hear, What you want to here is, " just give it time, she'll come around, there will be a call, you'll be able to explain" Im not one to lie, and I dont like liars, I care about you, Im not going to lie to you, if the truth is too much, dont ask. I wont feed you what you want to hear, I wont baby you, I wont treat you like your ten, You know better, grieving is fine, but when it gets this far, its beyond help, if you wont let anyone help you, we cant help you, You dont want to help yourself because you dont want to forget, You dont want to move on, you want to be able to think about her all the time and have a reason. So instead of being strong, the strong person I know you can be, you hold yourself back,go ahead say you dont say you figured everything out on your side you just need to exlplain, because honey, If you figured everything out you wouldnt need to explain....

Hate me, Love me, leave me, talk to me, stand by me, fall by me, ignore me, say rude things to me, apologize over and over, Dont apologize, forget about me, never forget about me, I dont care what you decide,  because I wont take anything I have said to you back, I will not undermine myself because you couldnt handle what I told you, I will not take my words back, because I have moved on.

I am not ready to talk

I am not ready to share

I am not ready to say things to you

because right now im to upset to care

You put words in my mouth

that burned like boiling water

you made me understand

that I obviously dont know any better

apparently I dont understand

I probably never will

But hey I dont care

and I abandon people when they are on their last will

I am a mean person

with no compassion I yell

I care for no one

So there is nothing else to be but done

you obviously know

how I think and what I do

my silver secret re appears

when I dont know what to do,

Im at a loss for words but thats ok,

you'll just put some in my mouth,

and I'll know what to say..

right now I am hurting

and im sure you are too,

but i do not take back

one thing I said to you.