Broken family

I wish I had the type of family where I could come home all stressed out and be able to talk about my day.  Instead it's a home filled with hate and screams, yelling nonstop and everyones crying. How are you supposed to be strong in a family that is so weak. We don't do anything together and family talks are scream matches to the point of losing your voice. When you're watching movies with happy families always there for each other you just think one word 'fake' because that's what it is. To scared to bring friends home because mom will yell and scare them away.  Dads never home and moms a crazy bitch. Putting the two together is like a nuclear bomb leaving the kids to pick up the pieces. Our family is broken and far from being able to be fixed. Siblings at each others throat 24/7. No escape from the reality of a family built on hate. Home is supposed to be a safe place, somewhere you feel comfortable. For me it's a place to be able to lock my room and retrieve the silver secret, to use it , to have no one notice. Home is dangerous, poisonous and scary. How many buttons can be pushed till it's the last. 

When 100 days is too much

It's that moment when it feels like your whole world is crashing down. The moment when you realize you took on way more than you could handle, but you do it because you need to. That moment when you have poisonous and you cant take it anymore.. You need to feel a sense of accomplishment for all the things you've failed at, for all the disappointment you bring to people or yourself. Such as losing every single one of your friends and not making any new ones. Not getting the grades you should have or worked on things your hardest. Losing in court, being told everything you have said is a lie. Knowing you can't get back lost time.  I can't think of one time I accomplished anything worth a penny..  I'm lost Overwhelmed Exhausted And sick I feel used and alone.  You know those days when all you want to do is lay in bed and never ever get out... That's how my life is.. I just want to lay there , I don't want to eat or sleep.. I just want to lay there.. 

Zero Tolerance

It's getting close.

Graduation.

I finished school early,

I work and I am getting ready to go to college.

I had a presentation a few weeks ago with the HUSD school board about bullying, I think the standards need to be raised.

they say zero tolerance for bullying and then they give out warnings like they are candy.

If you say its zero tolerance it's zero tolerance. 

Thats like zero tolerance weapons.

You're not going to just give them a warning if it's just a small pocket knife are you?

no. of course not..

Schools these days...

Drivin' me crazy!