anything but regular

So for the past week,
almost two
I have been sick with temperatures
of 102 or higher
haa
suck..

My laptop crashed,
along with everything on it
:(

Leif is coming out soon though,
so I am very excited!!
:)

I have been working myself to death the past few weeks
and it sucks
I dont know how to slow down,
Shayne keeps saying you need to rest, rest,rest,rest.
He does know best he is going to be a nurse ;) <3

I really hope that everything I help him with actually does something,
I dont feel like it does,
I feel like there is so much more i could do.
<3

I was put on depression medication,anxiety medication, and insomnia medication,
booo.
I feel so weird haha
I cant even talk normal , I studder and forget what I am saying constantly
its so annoying.

I dont know why

but i feel so alone

Im cold and scared

and so far away from home

I miss your smile

and your warm embrace

I miss the way you lit up

when you saw my face

we are so close

yet so far away

I wish I could steal you

even if it was just for one day

<3

Little blurb from a poem thats gone forever!!!! :(

There is always that one person

that no matter what they have done, or what they have said to you,

you love them, and you cant just stop loving them because people tell you too. Your love for that person is so strong that no matter what choices they make, you still love them because they are happy, and they cant to anything wrong to make you  not love them, because in your eyes, they are perfect, they are the image of your life.

Sometimes you have to wait for them "all good things to those who wait", that wait could seem like forever. So its nice to have someone willing to wait with you.

But, Sometimes, during that wait you realize, that you will always love them, but its time to move on, because you are willing to put out all this effort into loving them, when they dont care about what you are doing, thinking, saying. yeah it hurts to think that, but at some point to you have come to realize the truth, that a relationship goes to ways, its a 50:50 thing and if only one person is trying to make it work, it wont.

"lean on me, when you're not strong, and i'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on, for, it wont be long, till im gonna need, somebody to lean on,"