The day of new beginning.

YAY!!

So today I went to the gym to get a meal plan today!. I'm so freaking excited! I am going to transform my body into what I want it to be, its not going to be what I let stress make it, or what I used to think I was.. A fat blob of nothing, Today I get a new start, I get to start over. I get to re-create myself. I can't wait.

   Also I have reconnected with my best friend (husband) Adam from Indiana(: I missed talking to him. I mean who couldn't miss a face like this.

vv

I bought Leif headphones today since hes been wanting them FOREVER. I can't wait to give them to him!

Until Next time

<3

Yesterday.

So yesterday I am pretty sure I spent more than half of my day in a car.

-Drove to the Bank

-Drove my sister and her friends to swirl it.

-Drove to kohls

-Drove to get lunch for the boys

-Drove to the hospital with stan and joe. No air conditioning, 1 hr in the car.

-Drove to Jimmy's house

-Drove home.

-Drove with Leif to his house.

-Drove with Leif and Laia to BestBuy

-Drove back to Leifs house

-Drove to Panda

-Drove back to Leifs house

-Drove to my house.

Sometimes having your license is a gift and a curse. If you have siblings I will promise you one thing, you WILL become the family chauffeur. As of right now I hate driving haha.  Nothing really happened yesterday.

I made Leif watch Sleeping beauty with me <3. I love sleeping beauty she is my favorite princess.<3

Today I learned: Patience really is a virtue.

Until Next Time

<3

Insecurities

"No one will know

No one will see

The lines, the pain

My own insecurities

The scars I made

That don’t seem to fade

A constant reminder that your'e still the same

The screaming and fighting

It never seems to end

The things I did

 I tried to defend.

I wanted to end everything

I wanted my life to end

I though I had a reason

I though it sounded good

But when I sat back and thought

I realized that your nothing good

Your'e not worth it

You're not worth the pain

You're just a piece of shit that doesn’t even deserve a name."

 

 

 

This is one of my poems that has some of the most meaning to me.

<3

I hate shopping

Today,

Today was not very evenful. I babysat for the most adorable boys ever. After babysitting I went shopping to look for a shirt for senior pictures on saturday for the yearbook. I HATE SHOPPING. Since I am not comfortable with myself nothing looks right, I can never find things I like in my size. I gave up. Shopping sucks.

On the other hand I did wake up with a slight tan thanks to quadding yesterday!

(:

Today I learned: If you want to shop you have to be comfortable with yourself.

Until Next time

<3

Best day ever.

Today was such a good day!

Today I spent the day at my uncle Brians house with my boyfriend Leif<3. It was such a good day. Quadding, Gaming, Eating, and Just talking, topping off the best day ever with no city lights. The night sky dazzled with shooting stars. Although my leg was gashed open-thanks to a spikey bush-I still had a really fun time. No words can really describe the day I had to day. Today it just felt like nothing in the world was going wrong, that it didn't matter what was going to happen, it was all about what was happening, living in the moment.

Best.Day.Ever

Today I learned that when you surround yourself with people that love you, you have your life made out pretty good.

Me and Leif today <3

Until next time

<3

The morning chaos.

Good Morning! :)

The morning has just barely started and all ready Stanley is driving everyone crazy. Stan and Joseph share a room which means, Joe will not be sleeping in. It was just barely 8 when Stan started to drive everyone crazy, he made sure everyone was up. Except Bond. (waking her up is like waking a bear up from hibernation). Stan found a toy gun he hasn't played with in about 5 months and has decided that he wants to find the ammo that he just so happened to ruin yesterday. His toy boxes are dumped everywhere just so he could find his little foam disks that he unknowingly ripped up. While tearing up the living room he found one, one little disk and then jammed him gun, lost interest and moved on. How could one little boy be so destructive?

 

     until next time
<3

The Beginning

Hey there!

Im 17 years old, and my name is Maxie, Yeah maxi-pad, ahahha so funny never heard that before;)

I feel like I have lived for about a million years. The past two years of my life i've been to hell and i'm almost completly back! Yay! Everyone has their Highs and Lows and this past year I was at the lowest low of my short lived life. I lost almost all my friends, Contemplated suicide, decided it was too selfish, contemplated again, Realized I was stupid, rose up from that, realized the people I lost weren't my true friends, Did good first semester of school, Sucked it up second semester, worked hard last 2 months of school to get two F's up to C's ,only made one up to a C other F turned into a D but passed all my classes, Realized senior year is coming up and I am excited!

                A little about my CRAZY family.

• I have 5 siblings
• In age order Kathryn(F;23), Me(F;17), Bond(F;15),Cameron(F;12),Joseph(M;11), &, Stanley(M;4)
• My dad works all the time
• My mom Tries her hardest to keep sane staying at home with us kids
• Stanley is a little brat, he is literally the devils child.
• Joe loves Video Games, Chicken nuggets, poptarts, occasionally vegtables, hot dogs,and loves chips. Autistic yet so very very smart.
• Cameron is well...Cameron she has her moments.
• Bond is a bully and my bestfriend
• Kathryn is my older sister, I like her adivce...most of the time. haha

In this blog my life will be exposed, my poetry will be shared, and my ups and downs will be revealed. And I will always have something that I learned in that day.:)

Today I learned little things in life can make the biggest smiles :)

Until next time

<3